Mayday Mayday

I’m not quite sure how long it is since Mrs Mayday announced we were off to the polls but it seems like a bloody age – which is apt since she has now decided that she is a ‘bloody difficult woman’. Yeah, I think we all got that bit Tess!

As far as I can work out the only thing on the Tory agenda is taking the piss out of Labour ideas and telling Herr Juncker to “come on if you think you’re hard enough”.

Obviously the piss taking is helped by having Diane Abbott in the opposition – thank fuck she’s not in charge of Shadow Education. Sums are not her forte (or even forty).

I have worked out why Mrs Maynot won’t meet the press or go on TV debates – she hasn’t got any policies – well except for the aforementioned piss taking and winding up people she hopes to give the evil eye until they beg us to trade with them.

They did today mention the word ‘economy’ but only to pour scorn on Jerry’s ideas, not to actually talk about anything positive.

Not one mention of the NHS, Education or a commitment to not increasing income tax

 

Just a promise to cap energy prices. Apparently this is a spiffingly good idea now, although I seem to remember they said it was moronically stupid when Ed Milliband suggested it.

The Daily Mail can’t even see the irony of their volte face in their headlines.

Daily Mail energy bills 1

I have to declare an interest and confess that I think that Brexit is the worst idea since Mrs Lincoln suggested to her old man that should they have a night out at the theatre.

I do however accept that we’re stuck with it – at least the Americans can dump Donzo in 4 years’ time.

The Tories are obsessed with Brexit and that is why Tessa called the election I understand, although why she thinks the huge majority she is headed for will help us kick shit out of Angela and co I have no idea.

Presumably so she can force any daft agreement through without trouble – mind you she might want to take note of the problem Don is having getting his health bill approved, despite the GOP controlling both Houses.

For a day or so she has stopped saying ‘strong and stable’ every 35 seconds to utter the words ‘no deal is better than a bad deal’. An interesting soundbite – but she hasn’t explained what a bad deal would look like – or the implications of getting no deal.

I found this article which does shed some light on this –

http://www.politics.co.uk/blogs/2017/05/03/brexit-this-is-what-having-no-leverage-looks-like

Leaving after two years with no deal would mean regulatory chaos for Britain. We wouldn’t know which authorities were in charge of regulating medicines, or agriculture, or air traffic, or any other area. Where we did know, we would not necessarily have the staff or the systems in place for them to function. We would have lines at the border where suddenly-installed customs checks were detaining lorries. We would see a hard border in Ireland. We would at this stage probably not even have any tourist visa arrangements with Europe. Britain would try to trade on WTO rules, but would be forced to draw up hastily written assessments of tariff rate quotas in its schedules, opening the door to countless rounds of litigation from countries exporting to us. It would be utter chaos.

If this is accurate shouldn’t we at least have a butchers at what she thinks a bad deal would be, eh?

Madam MaisOui has put David Davis in charge of the negotiation with Brussels – I saw him on the BBC this morning and frankly I wouldn’t let him negotiate for a couple of pounds of turnips.

His argument for how we will come out of this on the plus side was about as convincing as Dr Crippen’s defence lawyer.

This is the bloke who said we’ll get a great deal because we speak English for fuck’s sake!

Nobody else is really likes us. We’re offshore for a start. You know, we have a global tradition. You know, we have the links with the Commonwealth. We have the English language.

It could be worse of course she could have picked Boris!

You will no doubt, have gathered from this rant that I that not a fan of the Tory toffs (and toffesses) – equally I am disappointed with Jeremy’s performance to date – but at least Labour are talking about issues like the NHS.

They may not be great and I expect them to get a battering on the 8th June – not least because most of the press is right wing and pro-Brexit

However at least Labour’s heart is in the right place.

The Tories as usual haven’t been able to locate one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fzu-YFHqfMc

 

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