Damp Squid?

I quite like the Danes – ever since they stopped raping and pillaging and introduced a decent bacon sandwich.

There’s a Danish crime series that has just finished on BBC Four – Department Q and it’s very good.

It’s very dark and some of the scenes were disturbing – especially as I’m such a sensitive sod.

Worth seeing if you get the chance.

Even more disturbing and also from Denmark is a new idea that I thought at first was a piss take – making music underwater.

No really –


Musicians jump in an aquarium and start playing  their instruments.

Okay – I’ll bite – does it sound any good?

Hydrophones, or special microphones that pick up the sound of the music in the water, amplify the soundwaves, producing music that resembles the sounds whales make.

Probably not then!

The resulting effect is a sound closer to an accompaniment for Tibetan meditation than it is to chamber music. 

It all happens in a place called Aarhus – a town where I’ve been a number of times – we advertised a range of cave cheeses from there in the 90s. But that’s another story – and not surprisingly a lot more interesting.

This underwater stuff all sounds more than a bit wet to me and I’m not sure why anyone would pay money to listen to whales chanting like monks. Unless you were a deaf religious orca anyway.

I think Houdini did something similar although upside down and  without the monotone accompaniment

The band spends the entire performance under water, surfacing regularly as part of the choreography to take breaths of air.

On balance I think I’ll give the Aquasonic European tour a miss, maybe Handel’s Water Music is on at the Proms.


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