Rotten Apple

Just over a week ago I forked out a bloody fortune for a new mobile (‘Core Blimey’).

I am known for shouting “how fucking much?” whenever I have to shell out for anything over a fiver, but this new  ‘dog and bone’ cost more than my first house (well nearly).

Imagine my absolute delight when I had a shufty at yesterday’s paper and read that Apple are going to kill the i-phone! –

In their place will be technology loosely called “spatial computing”: holograms, emails, photos, calendar reminders, YouTube videos and even — the horror! — banner ads projected onto your field of vision by smart, augmented-reality (AR) glasses.

Oh brilliant! That’s several hundred quid down the toilet.

I can’t wait to walk round like a complete nob head with a pair of bins that make me resemble an ageing twat from a bloody Star Trek convention.

I can only hope that driverless cars come in at the same time – my driving is total crap. So I don’t give much for my chances if the old goggles suddenly come up with an ad for the latest release in the ‘Debbie does Dallas’ franchise while I’m trying to negotiate a bastard roundabout!




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