Core Blimey

Am late in posting today as we’ve been out for a while.

Lell has been nagging me to update my i-phone for some time and I eventually gave in when the battery life dropped down to about 7 minutes for a full charge.

I thought I’d just pitch up to the Turnip Town exclusive hardware and greengrocers stall and swap for one that lasted a bit longer – I decided maybe 30 minutes would do. I also thought that telling Lell this would ensure the nagging left off for a bit.

Imagine my surprise when I found out she’d booked us a time in an Apple store – which turned out not to be a fruit and veg place.

It was a big flash gaff with loads of kids about 13 who could do a good impersonation of Steve Jobs – as in tech whizzy, not dead, obviously.

They were not only technically shit hot, but extremely friendly and managed not to roll their eyes too often when I displayed my vast knowledge of how these things work.

They had to do lots of backing up (a computer thing not trying to get away from me) – although I wouldn’t have blamed them frankly.

They also tried to explain how brilliant it was to have a cloud and a key chain – they were professional enough not to take the piss when I smugly pointed at the outside sky and held up my car keys.

It took them pushing a couple of hours to finally wave good bye as I toddled off clutching nearly 700 quids worth of hardware packed into a nice little box.

The last time I saw so many happy faces was when we took off from Lagos, Nigeria – with the crew and passengers all cheering and clapping like they’d won the lottery.

. I’ll probably have to take it back tomorrow though – the bleeding earphones don’t have any wires! Or a place to plug them in!

I was going to get the nice Apple lady to put my music on too – but she explained that it would take at least another hour – and when she looked at my album list she probably thought why bother – she has a point. She showed me how to delete some of the dross and then gave me a tutorial on how to download the rest. It sounded like she was speaking in Martian or something – I’ll probably ask her again when I go back to get the wires.

Naturally much of the time in the shop had been me badgering Terry to try and remember my passwords – most of which she did, although she did roll her eyes quite a lot – as did Lell.

Somehow everything seems to be working although I seem to have fucked up WhatsApp – it insists I don’t exist and won’t get off the page where they won’t let me in until I tell them my blood group number and the exact date when I last had a stiffy.

I just hope Lell has a couple of hours tonight to try and sort it!







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