Super Poor

I scored my worst week for the season with Round 10 Super Rugby predictions.

Just 4 out of 7 will knock my cumulative score down below 90%.

It wasn’t just the results I screwed up, but some of my points differences were about as close as the Tory lead in the polls – and just as depressing.

I had the Highlanders by 13 – they won by 43

The Chiefs by 50+ when the actual difference was 7

The Crusaders by 20 and they ended up 34 ahead.

However the real icing on the cock was forecasting that the Rebels would beat the Kings on the road by less than 10 – in fact the Kings stuffed the Aussies by 44-3

Glad I didn’t waste money on a lottery ticket last night – except of course I did – so instead of sipping cocktails off some exotic nubile Doris on a tropical island this morning I’m sitting here writing this nonsense.

Mind you I wasn’t the only one to get a few wrong –

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uf7IhnqDoQc

As usual I will have my weekly go at the stupid Super 18 format – as it currently stands the Brumbies on 18 points and with just 3 wins out of 9 are in line for a home draw in the play-offs.

The Chiefs (37 points), Hurricanes (33), Highlanders (28) and Sharks (28) would all get the thrill of having to play on the road.

In fact the six teams below the Brumbies in the standings all have more points and 2 of those would miss out altogether.

Hard to believe that the current structure is being criticised isn’t it?

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Ball Boy

A video of a small kid playing junior rugby league has gone viral.

The poor sod gets hit in the face as he tries to catch the ball from the kick-off –

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4459754/Young-rugby-player-Falconed-ball-kickoff.html

 

The predatory rugby tradition of taking the piss is alive and well even in the junior game – instead of sympathising this teammates fall about laughing.

Reminds me of when I played with Harro – he couldn’t stop pissing himself whenever I was daft enough to try and catch the ball.

AA Membership Drive

I’m sure that this post won’t be of interest to…..well, anyone really, but I’m a bit stuck for stuff to write today.

I woke up to find a seriously bad video from Harro involving an awful rendition of him murdering ‘Rocket Man’.

He was in a pub with a random bloke who I didn’t recognise and whose voice was equally as terrible.

I have absolutely no idea why he thought it was a good idea to record this or more especially to send it to me.

I also don’t know what he’d been drinking – or for how long, but I’m guessing that he hadn’t just arrived there from the gym.

Our ensuing conversation – also pretty boring – and went like this.

“My name’s Harro – and I’m a total piss head”

“Hello Harro” (obviously a Japanese meeting then)

As you can see Harro is a complete dickhead whereas I am a suave and debonair man about Turnip Town

Hire and Higher

A logging outfit in New Zealand is apparently fed up with blokes turning up in response to their recruitment ads totally off their faces –

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4459640/NZ-company-warns-drug-f-ed-job-seekers-not-apply.html

To be honest I would have thought going for a job that involves hacking down monster trees and getting dangerously close to giant circular saws is not ideal if you are spaced out on oxys or crystal meth. But maybe the money is good enough to pay off your local dealer.

The loggers are not the only ones who are picky about who they hire.

You’ve been Nicked

Last night at the Stoop in his last home game for Harlequins, Nick Evans threw an almighty boot into Wasps. His 22 points opened up the play-off mix and will have had Saracens and Chiefs supporters cheering at the TV.

I got that one wrong, I had Wasps to win and ensure a home semi with a game to spare.

On the off chance that my other predictions and both the Chiefs and Saracens win this weekend with 4 and 5 points respectively then the top of the table will look like this tomorrow night –

Wasps 79

Chiefs 78

Saracens 77

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Assuming that the Tigers secure 4th place the make-up of the semi-finals will all come down to the last games. The big one being when Wasps host Saracens at the Ricoh.

Any one of the three could top the table now.

If Wasps end up having to play away on the 20th May they will remember having been ‘Nicked’ last night.

 

Wolves at the Door

In a surprisingly close game in NZ this morning the Chiefs managed to close out the Sunwolves by just 27-20 and missed a golden opportunity to gain bonus points. With brilliant foresight I had the Chiefs by 50!

Two incidents (apart from my stupid prediction) stood out.

First was a great finish by All Black Damien McKenzie –

https://www.tvnz.co.nz/one-news/sport/rugby/watch-damien-mckenzie-carves-fends-and-streaks-past-four-sunwolves-defenders-sensational-solo-try

Far less impressive was the late hit by Jamie-Jerry Tualagi after the clock had turned red – which, quite rightly, was the colour of the card he received –

https://www.tvnz.co.nz/one-news/sport/rugby/watch-red-disgustingly-thuggish-act-sees-sunwolves-sub-sent-off-deliberate-shoulder-head-after-whistle-had-blown

Tualagi will be in the stands for at least a couple of weeks I should think