Do they think we’re all Bonkers?

When it comes to technology I admit I’m no Bill Gates – to be honest I’m not even as good as Bill Sykes.

I can use an i-phone, WhatsApp and write nonsense here only because our kids showed me how.

Both Annalia and Rafa are more competent than me with an i-pad, although Rafa does use his as a frisbee a lot of the time.

Whilst I take advantage of the few techno things I can use I really don’t understand how you can chat and see people in real time who are thousands of miles away – still I do enjoy seeing all those rude pictures on Twitter!

The point of this is that I found out about this new gadget the other day –

http://britishcondoms.uk/i-con-smart-condom.html

Penis girth, thrust counts and sexual health are all measured by the i.Con smart condom ring, as wearable technology moves into the bedroom.

Manufactured by British Condoms, i.Con is a fitness tracker for the penis. It provides the wearer with performance statistics

Among the variables the smart condom ring can track are calories burnt, duration of intercourse, average number of thrusts and girth measurements.

British Condoms says the ring, which is used in addition to (rather than instead of) a regular condom, is the final stages of testing and will be released later in 2017.

I came across it (ha ha) in a magazine article and am still laughing about it.

I mean how the fuck (ha ha again) does it work? And why would you want one?

It’s coming out (ha ha yet again) later this year and users will be able to post their results online and compare stats with other users around the world.

Have you ever wondered how many calories you’re burning during intercourse? How many thrusts? Speed of your thrusts? The duration of your sessions? Frequency? How many different positions you use in the period of a week, month or year? Ever wondered how you stack up to other people from around the world?

I’m not sure what you will get out of comparisons with blokes in Guatemala or Hong Kong except to feel a bit smug or rather intimidated.

I will probably get one though as it might be able to tell me who ties who up – I really can’t remember these days.

 

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