More Spam Witters

I continue to be entertained by numerous spam e-mails.

Many of these are from Doris’ who claim to have seen my profile and think I’m pretty hot – this makes me suspicious and just to check I look in the mirror and think I should write back and give them the location of their nearest Specsavers.

The communications that have obviously taken a bit of time to research me include offers for ‘little blue pills’, a suggestion that I may need some additional inches in the Y-front department and numerous widows who are desperate to share a vast fortune with me.

This one though is from a young lady who makes no bones about what she is offering –

From: Brothelgirl
Sent: 12 January 2017 07:51
To: davidshute@
Subject: Private message received from brothelgirl

Obviously I didn’t respond – I mean, it didn’t even include a list of services and rates.

This one was a little more subtle –

From: share@privateimgshare.com
Sent: 19 December 2016 07:46
To: davidshute@lineone.net
Subject: Kate has invited you to view her pics

I didn’t bother – who puts there real photo on the net ffs? I look remarkably like George Clooney in mine.

However the best e-mail I have received for a while is this one –

From: Mr.James B. Comey, Jr. [mailto:test@vasapolli.it]
Sent: 14 January 2017 11:11
Subject: Dear Scam Victims

Dear Scam Victims

This is to inform you that I came to Nigeria yesterday from London, after series of complains from the FBI and other Security agencies from Asia, Europe, Oceania, Antarctica, South America and the United States of America respectively, against the Federal Government of Nigeria and the British Government for The rate of scam activities going on in these two nations.

This email come to those who are yet to receive their compensation/inheritance/winnings and who have been scammed in any part of the world, this includes every foreign contractors that may have not received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or Compensation payments that failed due to Government problems etc. Recently we the Federal Bureau of Investigation(FBI) arrested internet fraudsters and Scammer with large amount of money so if you are receiving this email its means you where select to be compensated as a scam victim among 100 selected victims with part of the money recover from the internet fraudsters account. The UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate you with the sum of $850,000.00 USD (Eight Hundred and fifty Thousand United States Dollars).

100 people where selected across the Globe for this FIRST QUARTER OF THE YEAR COMPENSATION and Your name and email was in the list submitted by our Monitoring Team observers and this is why we are contacting you, this have been agreed upon and have been signed, so you are advised to contact Mr. George Venizelos of the United Nations Compensation Commission, as he is our representative in United State Of America. Contact him immediately for your Compensation payment of $850,000.00 USD (Eight Hundred and fifty Thousand United States Dollars) which will be released directly to you in accordance with legal clearance and procedures.

It is my pleasure to inform you that your ATM Card Number; 5571342020375603. Your Personal Identification Number is 6062. The ATM Card Value is $850,000.00 USD (Eight Hundred and fifty Thousand United States Dollars) You are advised that a most withdrawal value of $10,000.00 USD is permitted on withdrawal per Day and we are duly Inter Switch and you can make withdrawal in any ATM Machine in any part of the countries.

NOTE: The IMF and the Finance Ministry has already paid for all the document that will be accompany your ATM CARD so The IMF and the Finance Ministry insisted that you pay for the courier DELIVERY FEE ONLY of your ATM CARD via western union money transfer, which will cost you just $250 USD only and you are advice to send the copy of the payment to Mr. George Venizelos for documentation in your file as proof your collection. Ask Mr. George Venizelos for the instruction on how to send the delivery fee of $250 to the Courier Delivery Company, Please note that the delivery fee can not be deducted from your ATM CARD due to the fact that no one has the authority to unlock or use your ATM CARD because you are the only person to have the security code which you will use to activate your ATM CARD at your first withdrawal with your secret code.

Contact Mr. George Venizelos immediately for your compensation payment:

Rev George Venizelos

Director- General,

ATM Card Payment

New York Field Office

Phone Number: +1 (872) 212-5825

Email:revgeorgevenizelous@mail.com

Info: https://www.fbi.gov/newyork/our-leadership/image/george-venizelos-assistant-director-in-charge-new-york-field-office/view

He is obliged to give you a call and treat your case with utmost urgency as soon as you contact him and fill out your correct details including all reachable phone numbers for him to get in touch with you via phone and email.

However, you should send him your delivery details as follow:

Full Name:

Telephone Number:

your Residential Address:

Gender:

Occupation:

New email address for this safety of this transaction

We also advise that you stop further communications with these imposters and forward any correspondence / proposal you receive from them to Mr. George Venizelos in other for the FBI to bring justice to them.

Good luck and kind regards,

Making the world a better place!

GOD BLESS US.

REGARDS.

Mr.James B. Comey, Jr.

THE NEW FBI DIRECTOR

President Nominates New FBI Director

This is splendidly good news – I checked that Mr Comey Jr. is in fact the FBI Director and wow – he is!

I do feel that the ‘new’ description is a bit of a stretch as he was appointed some 3½ years ago in 2013.

My only slight concern is that you would have expected him to recruit a secretary with word processor skills above that of a hedgehog or to insist that she uses spellcheck.

I am especially fond of the phrases –

‘100 people where selected across the Globe’ and

‘after series of complains from the FBI and other Security agencies’

His reply address was also not suspicious at all –

From: Mr.James B. Comey, Jr. [mailto:test@vasapolli.it]
Sent: 14 January 2017 11:11
Subject: Dear Scam Victims

The bloke you’re supposed to send your $250 to is Rev George Venizelos and again he does exist!

However this appears to be a scam – shame really as I was getting quite excited!

If you do send George some $ and get your $850,000 I’d be grateful for a heads up!

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