I Bleeding Knew it!

You might have noticed that fairly often I take the piss out of stupid surveys and research that are a waste of money or time and mostly both.

These have included things like ‘Spiderman doesn’t exist (Tangled Web), research into how to cut a deep pan fungi (Taking the Pizza) and a study that produced the terribly valuable discovery that if you eat less you won’t put on so much pork (Now with Added Fatheads)

As Basil said –

 “Can’t we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant: Mrs. Sybil Fawlty from Torquay. Specialist subject – the bleeding obvious!”

However I have just come across a study that is not only important it underlines something that I have always reckoned was probably true –


So – scruffy bastards who take the piss and swear are smarter – fucking spot on or what?

Any number of my so called friends  will be only too pleased to tell you what a scruffy bastard I am – Eric is more likely to be asked to promote Louis Vuitton clobber on Instagram than I am.

I imagine even Primark would piss themselves at the idea of me as a fashion icon.

Terry (aka ‘The Dragon’) maintains that it would be easier to tidy up after a tsunami than to try and get me to put stuff away in the right place.

So you can tick off messy on my CV

The swearing is maybe a bit trickier – you’d need to go back through a few of my posts to see if many (or indeed any) don’t include at least one fuck, bollox or bleeding – and good luck with that!

So there you have it – I am officially a top creative bastard.

Why the fuck didn’t this research get published sooner?

I now have an official mug to show everyone – I think it’s somewhere here on the desk underneath all this crap


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